I'm going to change the point of this blog. Like this blog and many other things, I have changed. I wasn't the same person I was a year ago, yet alone a month, or a day ago. Instead of "telling" readers what I think you should be eating and doing for exercises and such, this blog will now focus on healthy recipes, advice, stories, etc. I'm going to start off with the story of none other than MYSELF.
So here it goes:
In high school, I moved to good ole' Concord MA, home of Henry David Thoreau, Louisa May Alcott, KG, Steve Carell, and a vast amount of well-to-do lawyers, doctors, CEO's/rich dudes. And just like every high school, you had to look a certain way in order to be cool. (I never stressed too much about my body during the first couple years of high school because I was very active and had always eaten well due to my health conscious mother. My mom also didn't push health down my throat--she was good about cooking healthy food that taste good, and most of the time I didn't know what I was eating was healthy). Nonetheless, I still ate a ton of pizza, McDonalds, candy, ice cream, cakes, fried food...lots of crap.
I was heavily involved in sports in high school, it was kind of like a small obsession. I ran cross country and did indoor and outdoor track and a year of basketball. Once I became good at track, I devoted my time and effort into it completely. I loved working out, I felt great after and I looked great. I got into yoga and pilates and even created our school's Yoga club. I went to every track meet, even if I didn't compete. I loved being around trackies and loved watching the sport. Even if I didn't work out because of an injury, I'd be in the weight room helping spot my teammates or create lifting programs for people. Yet senior year when I was captain of a huge 160 person team, I just totally lost interest. I was no longer the best (after a freshman who is still very amazing and I STILL LOVE HER kicked my little butt!), and that pissed me off. I had worked SO hard, and felt all of my hard work go to waste. I also developed a huge hatred toward my coaches, and we constantly fought in practice. We'd argue over workouts, clothes, things I should have been doing, etc. After high school was over, I equated the shitty relationship I had with my coach to working out, and completely stopped being active. I wanted a break, because I thought a break from working out was the same as a break from my coach.
Went to college, quit track, quit working out, and quit eating right. I went from 110 pounds (5'2"--still very small!) to 137 slowly in two years. I ate stir fry every day, drank, ate pizza, fries, anything that tasted good. It was therapy, kind of. Like I was blaming my entire crap relationship with my coach on health and fitness and just saying a huge F.U to him/the health and fitness world.
After my sophomore year, I realized that skittles and a 9 boxes of tic tacs probably weren't the best dinner to eat, and I could barely fit into any of my clothes anymore. I went to a gym and got back into the swing of things. I felt amazing, and went on a diet to lose some /a lot of my fat. I became easily obsessed with what I ate, when I ate, and how much I ate. I wanted to desperately lose weight. I'd bring my own food to parties, I'd lie so I wouldn't have to go to dinner with friends, and I'd tell people I had already eaten when I didn't. Then a couple months and -20 pounds later, I realized that what I was doing was RETARDED. I was not being healthy.
So, I ate more, but still healthy. After a couple months at school, I realized I wanted to go into the health and fitness profession. I thought I wanted to be a doctor, but I realized that I have a huge passion for fitness and helping others. I always feel amazing after working out, and love seeing others feel as great as I do after eating well and working out. I am truly inspired by these people at my gym and have so much to thank them for. Anyway, when I was in college I was still obsessing. I kept multiple food journals, measured my food, and only ate at certain times. I wanted to gain muscle, and look like a trainer. If I didn't look healthy, why would anyone want to hire me and take me seriously as a health and fitness professional? Many family members told me I looked too thin, but I didn't think so. My mom told me I had to eat more and I wasn't eating enough. I explained to her that I thought I was eating fine, and then decided to eat way more than usual one day. I calculated my calories and I barely ate 1400. And that was on a day that I purposely overate. I was shocked. How was I eating so little yet working out with such energy and feeling full all the time? I felt lost. Here was another failed career attempt. After my day of "overeating", I felt so full, like I was going to explode. I was like, wow I'm done. I'm not meant to do this. I'm meant to be skinny. I'll just do my backup career as a professor. And then, for some strange reason, I was like you know what, SELF, I CANNOT HAVE this negative mentality. I know that I have a passion for this, and that I want to be a trainer. I want to be taken seriously, and I need to get this negative relationship with food out of my system.
I had an amazing conversation with my trainer (WHO I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH ABOUT BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING AND SO INSPIRATIONAL she should have her own TV show or something). She gave me this book called "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. I've only read 20 pages but so far this book has saved my life. If anyone has poor relationships with food (either too crazy like me or needs to eat better), should read this book IMMEDIATELY.
So, over the past 12 or so hours, I have had many revelations that I hope will HELP inspire others who have similar issues.
1-I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON HEALTH AND FITNESS.
-Although I have taken many Kin/Nutrition/Biology/Chemistry/Physics/Food Science classes and also do side research, I am not an expert on the right way to eat or the right way to exercise. I will never be an expert. I may be more educated than other people in the fields of nutrition, body mechanics, body movement, anatomy, etc, but I am not a know-it-all. I realize that (if you read some posts below), I come off that way. But I am not an expert.
2-IT IS WRONG FOR ME TO JUDGE OTHERS ON THEIR DIETS/EXERCISE REGIMINES.
-Luckily, I am nobody's mother. I cannot scream at my friends who decide to order buffalo wings at 2am after a long night of drinking and tell them how that food will kill them. It's none of my business. If I am not hired to help someone with their eating habits and workouts, it's really not my place to put in my two cents. If someone wants to ask me about how they can eat better, I can do my best to help them. Other than that, I'm not going to roll my eyes at you (OLIVIA OR ETHAN) for having a slice of pizza or a brownie. It is your body, not mine. I can't control what you put in your body.
3-I CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING.
-I'm a control freak. I'm working on it. I threw away the notebook with all of my calorie calculations. I can't control what other people do, say, or eat. I can only control what I do. And that's fine with me.
4-ADMIT I HAVE FAULTS. I AM NOT PERFECT.
-I can't be perfect. I can put in 100% effort to the things I love and care about (family, friends, health and fitness, dogs) and be happy with that, as long as I put in 100% effort. I have faults, though. I never liked to admit it, but I do. One fault I have is being a control freak. Another is being obsessive. I think I'm obsessive and controlling over things I love. But I don't need to be controlling to know I love them.
5-BUT I'M HAPPY WITH WHAT I'M GOOD AT.
-Everyone is good at something. Some people are good at a lot of things. Don't be afraid to admit you're good at things. Too much confidence can be a turn off, but it's okay to admit to yourself that your still a person and you have things you're good at. Here are some things I'm good at:
1) School
2) Loving
3) Sports
4) Spending money
5) Art
6) Cooking
What are you good at? Ask your friends or family members if you don't know.
6-I WANT TO LOVE EVERYBODY.
-I believe everyone is inherently good, or at least that's what I want to believe. Although I had issues with my track coach, I have tried to get together with him to have coffee and talk. He won't answer, so I guess he's still an ass hole (hey, I'M TRYING).
7-ACCEPT MY EMOTIONS, NO MATTER HOW CRAZY THEY ARE. IF THEY ARE CRAZY, LEARN TO DEAL WITH THEM.
-If you have certain emotions, you have certain emotions. If you feel a certain way, you feel a certain way. If your emotions are getting in the way of your health, maybe see a therapist. There's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. Or read books.
8-BE POSITIVE.
-Being positive is hard. I've tried to be positive for a while, and at times it can be difficult. Like the other day: I returned my Bose speakers for $300, and drove to the mall in the snow at 8am. Bose was the only store in the mall that was closed and I wanted to choke somebody. Apparently the boss thought they were opening at 9. I flipped out. I was mad. It ruined my day. WHY? Because I let it. Then, after I returned the speakers I called my bank to see my statement. There was a fraud hold on my account. Apparently someone had tried to break into my checking account to steal my whole lump sum of $6.54. It was a pain in the ass and I was pissed. They shut down my debit card and I had to go to the bank Monday morning to get a new card and inquire where my $300 was. I walked 20 minutes to the bank in the huge snow storm, and the bank was closed. CLOSED. Needless to say, I. was. going. to kill. someone. I walked back, and went back Tuesday morning. I got my debit card and they still had no idea where my 300 dollars was. This morning, the money cleared into my account. I flipped out for no reason. I had a negative attitude, and worried for nothing. If you stay positive, you'll get less stressed, and stress is BAD.
9-HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD. THE REST WILL FOLLOW.
-Everyone should read the Intuitive Eating book if they have bad relationships with food.
10-IF YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT SOMETHING, DON'T. IF YOU DO, DO.
-That is all. I have food allergies (dairy and gluten that I know of), so I don't eat things with dairy or gluten because I get sick. But if you feel like a sundae, get a freaking sundae. If you're committed to health and fitness, you probably won't eat more than one sundae. That one sundae will taste delicious and will be worth it.
11-BE PATIENT.
Losing weight/gaining weight/gaining muscle takes time. It doesn't happen overnight.
12-BE NATURAL.
It's important to eat as natural as possible. I'd make this section longer if I had time but I don't so I'll expand on another post.
13-DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.
-F them.
14-YOUR HEALTH IS NOT JUST YOUR BODY AND HOW YOU LOOK-IT IS YOUR MIND AS WELL.
-You need to take care of your body in all aspects, not just food. That means regular doctors visits, taking organic multi-vitamins, and using other natural products (toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, etc). It's also very very important to have a healthy mind. Once your free of stress and anxiety, you will feel a lot better. Try meditation, yoga, and just take some freaking time for yourself.
15-DO THINGS YOU ENJOY DOING.
-If you enjoy certain workouts, do those. Don't run because you think it's good for you but you hate doing it. If you go about things this way, chances are most will stop working out. If you like walking more than running then do that. If you like rowing more than biking then do that. If you hate yoga don't do it because it's "in right now". Same goes for food. If you hate spinach don't eat spinach.
16-DO NOT DIET.
-Read that book.
15-THE POINT OF LIFE IS TO LIVE.
-Enjoy your life. Once you help yourself, you will be able to help others (in whatever job you do--doctor, lawyer, personal trainer, cook, plumber, sales dude, etc) and you will be a more positive person unconsciously.
THE RULES OF LIFE: (Author Unknown)
- YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY
You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period you're around.
- YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
- THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS
Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "Failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".
- A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL LEARNED
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.
- LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END
There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
- "THERE" IS NO BETTER THAN "HERE"
When your "There" has become a "Here", you will simply obtain another "There" that will, again, look better than "Here".
- OTHERS ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
- WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
- YOUR ANSWERS LIE INSIDE YOU
The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
- YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS
Unless you consistently stay focused on the goals you have set for yourself, everything you've just read won't mean a thing.
Hope this helps.